tarynitup

I tried to understand that heartbreak for months.

I tried to understand how something that felt so real couldn’t be… real. I missed someone knowing what I was going to say before I said it, knowing how I was feeling even if i didn’t want them to, just finding my person. all the previous ones- they were all just a lesson. A lesson teaching me that words are amazing, but actions are louder. The words “I love you” mean nothing if the effort isn’t there. They’re just words. No title. I was bitter, but now I’m glad for it. I was able to know what I DIDNT want.

This sweet, sweet boy. Who knows what I’m feeling before I do, who knows what I want before I can think of it, who doesn’t tell me he loves me, but tries to give me the world.

The boy that takes pictures of me without me knowing, let’s me love on his dog unconditionally..

The boy that stayed up with me all night in austin, watching the sun come up, after he bought me a flower from a street vendor and talked to me for hours.

i borderline ruin it daily from worrying. i borderline have anxiety attacks when he treats me well or gives me a compliment. but I’m smiling again, and I don’t think about how lonely life is anymore, so either way it works out, it’s nice when someone breathes the air back into your lungs.