tarynitup

Being told that and knowing immediately that it was a Taylor swift reference.. I didn’t know what to say.

I have felt so used, I am soooo angry, and I’m watching someone I thought was the best person sit back and stay silent to avoid looking bad and watch something potentially catastrophic happen… being shocked that they decided to go that route after they preached to me about integrity… and it breaks my fucking heart.

I feel like I got called those names because he was doing just what he was doing with me last week. Justifying, making someone feel rejected because he gets close as shit to your face but will show he will consider other people’s feelings but never chose to do it to yours.

He hasn’t called, I haven’t called.

He fell asleep in the middle of me talking and crying and didn’t look up from his phone when i left.

Thinking about him just makes my stomach turn into a knot and to him, I was never worth actually changing for. It makes me wonder how many times I’ve hung out with him where he was in that same situation, the number fucking changed to benefit him at the time.

I just need to stop thinking about it.

I’ve seen “you can see me on Wednesday” where I feel like I should give them a thank you card for their time to “I don’t want to wait until Wednesday to see you, can I see you tonight?” And my heart smashed into even more pieces. But if someone were to ask if I missed him… I’d refuse to answer…