tarynitup

One day, maybe someone I help won’t leave.

Maybe one day, I won’t be a stepping stone in someone’s life to help teach them a lesson (good or bad) to move on to their real life.

Like when you play a game on practice mode, unlimited chances.

Let’s just go figure out how to get better, Taryn won’t leave let’s just stay here.

I went away from my type because I thought they’d be different.

They were the same as everyone else. Infatuation and partnered up with my own self sabotage led to mass destruction.

In our story, I gave all I had to them… I just wanted to love them. I would have sat through the mud with them.

They weren’t bad. They thought I was coming at them so many times that I wasn’t. Just because there were things i needed them to work on doesn’t mean they suck- that’s what a relationship is. You teach the other one how to love you and I was trying to just say what I needed.

I watered them too much and then tried to water myself too fast on my own…

Just like everyone else.

Learn through our story. Grow, then go.

Everyone has that same attitude.. half in/half out. I thought they’d be the one to stay though.

But I’m the one crumbling to pieces on the balcony at 2 am.

They’ll be a better husband this time though.

All I know is I can’t get them out of my head. It hurts to walk around, thinking about someone that’s probably definitely forgotten everything about you by now- they wanted to so bad for so long..

And the thing is, I’m not always mad I think of them.

I just miss them.

My personality is happy…..

But my soul is devastatingly sad.

Living in northlake, knowing they’re under 15 minutes away..

They keep me up at night, with me wondering if they ever feel the tug towards the other one… knowing deep down, they don’t…

But I don’t think my heart has the capability to ever cut out hope for them.

I’ve loved them like I’ve loved nobody else.

Was connected to them in a way like nobody else.

And I’m not sure I want to share that kind of love with someone else.