tarynitup

born in 1990, rockin clothes made my my awesome nana, not knowing anything was wrong with the world. then i went to therapy and realized i had just blocked everything out *insert laughing and crying at same time emoji*

 bad things happen to everybody. all the time, every day. after 31 years, i finally understood that we have control… of some of it. our brains are so much smarter than we know, or can comprehend. don’t get me wrong, i hate exposing myself in therapy, on a screen (actually, i think the tele-health helps my anxiety), but paying someone.. to listen to you.. tell your own stories.. and then tell you things that were in your damn face the whole time that you knew, but didn’t really knooooowwwww.

being self-aware is great, but it’s also a curse.. because, well… you’re self aware. there’s nothing like the feeling of knowing what you’re doing is bad/toxic/unhealthy and can start to figure out to pinpoint why you do it, but you haven’t been in therapy long enough to actually switch your brains way of thinking and processing it… because that shit takes practice!

so i’ve heard…

so, i thought if i couldn’t get the thoughts to stop running through my brain like a hamster on adderall running on an electric wheel, might as well see if i can type as fast as i can think…