tarynitup

I do what I’m supposed to.

Wake up. Shower. Go to work. Eat lunch. Back to work. I barely have time to go to the bathroom, much less be on my phone. My mind is constantly spinning… but there’s still you.

I get off work, come home, go to bed.

I don’t notice you creeping into my headspace until I get near the elevator to come upstairs. Once my key unlocks the door- I’m actively thinking about you.

It’s like my brain saved all of the thoughts and memories for when I had “time” to think about it.

I get so angry because for the first time in my life, I had stayed to face AND fix my problems… but you didn’t want to do the work.

As August is ending, I realize I’m stuck in this cycle I can’t get out of. 3 summers now, I’ve loved you.

People keep asking me why I can’t get past it… people ask why I still cry for you when you’re with someone else and you “clearly didn’t want me”.

People didn’t know you like I did.

But… did you even let me know you?

At the end of every day, it’s you.