tarynitup

I learned that not everyone has good intentions. Friends, boyfriends, strangers… sometimes their words cover the darkness.

I wasn’t as good of a person as I thought I was. I didn’t hurt anyone on purpose, but I ran from accountability and I blamed everyone else for my pain.

I over correct when I try to fix something. I’m too friendly? I’ll talk to NO one. Can’t take accountability? I’ll take too much (balance happens inevitably)

I allowed the conflict in my life that I cried about… but not always.

I learned how to be alone. Truly alone.

I learned to never be scared to speak up for myself again, and the word NO will do me wonders from now on.

If you manage to hurt a narcissists feelings or make them take an ego hit- you are in for revenge like you’ve never seen.

I learned some people only love you for what you do for them- and I learned that is not love.

I learned that I’m capable of taking care of myself, and I need no one. Allowing someone to lead me will be something to be proud of, not something to hide.

I learned what it looks like for people to say what they mean and mean what they say.. and also to run when they don’t.

Sorry without change is manipulation.

People’s accusations are usually their admissions.

People forget I know psychology. I was just taught to not analyze people in my life and it’s been a REALLY long time, but I’m more aware of things than expected.

I learned how to find my own self worth. My accomplishments are not for others to use to make themselves look good.

I will do whatever it takes for my daughters. Including the last of my money going to taking addy to Taylor swift because I felt I was being lied to. I bought the tickets in the parking lot of the stadium because the price went down the closer to the concert. I had 9$ until my payday the next week. I never got help from an outside source since a week before that concert. Also the month my car payment started to not be paid and it took me 2 months to learn about it.

I learned to make sure the person I’m following can lead, and wants to lead, because I’d love to fall into someone and not have to keep my hand on the floor in case I have to launch myself up because they’re leaving again.

I learned I should have trusted myself in December of 2022. Once I saw them on dating apps, they knew I lost trust in them, and their perfect boyfriend act didn’t hold up anymore. They got distant and were always on their phone, most likely lining up the next person to follow me since I didn’t see them as perfect… which is why they started needing time alone.

I was alone on NYE, and that made me realize so much about how far I’ve come. I chose to be alone. I found a bar and walked in, ordered a mule, and got a nasty text. I left a final voicemail about how I felt and hung up as the people around me started to countdown. I watched as they kissed and cheered, and I drank 2 drinks, set it down, and went back to work. One drink for 2022, another for 2023.