tarynitup

I used to genuinely think they were a good person.

Now, I just see a self-centered person that is hurting and will continue to hurt people that love them until they look at themselves.

Over the last 2 months, I knew I was starting to not like them as a person, and I tried to ignore it. I had seen more recently and I had tried to shove it to the side because I felt bad for ever thinking anything negative about them… but one day we were in their room and I felt so disappointed by the actions they had done that day and it hurt my heart because not only was I starting to be not attracted to them… I started to truly dislike them. They were choosing more selfish choices and they were never open to listening to how their choices affected anyone because they just wanted everyone to deal with it…

I’ve realized it’s not even about me at this point. They can get mad and be petty all they want, I used to do it too. I used to be flighty, I used to run from feeling lonely until I realized loneliness keeps a tab. Their actions today were so hurtful… now, when I look at them, I just see someone hurting that doesn’t know how to deal with it and doesn’t know how to let someone truly love them and will push everyone away and will hurt everyone around them until they try to start healing themselves.

I always begged to not get to this point, because once I close the door- it never reopens. Today, having that ticket rubbed in my face and it meaning 1000 different ways of saying “fuck you”- I closed the door.

I miss someone that doesn’t exist.