tarynitup

• the sooner you learn that you are the common denominator in all of your problems, the easier your life becomes (once the aftershock is over, of course)
• the trauma you ignore will seep into every aspect of your life before you know it- so address it
• you are not responsible for WHAT people do to you- but you are responsible for how long you allow it to happen
• what happens in vegas, doers NOT stay in vegas
• if you travel solo- stay in a hostel (location depending) it prevents self loathing bed rot, you can make friends easily, and they are SO much cheaper. I stayed in one in Hermosa Beach that was not even $40 a night and it was ON the pier. There was one building in between us and the beach and all of the bars/restaurants were on that same pier. also- get a bottom bunk. you don’t want to be the person that comes in at midnight and trying to climb in a bunk bed.
• if you find yourself toning down for somebody- you need to run the other way, no matter how much you care.
• leaving someone and not loving someone are not the same thing. for years, i thought that if someone left, they didn’t love me anymore. not true. they are separate, and someone withholding love after you’ve made a mistake is not someone that should be in your life.
• after a break up- stay single. the best way to get over someone is NOT under someone else.
• perspective is everything. if you’re starting over- you can look at it like you HAVE to start over, or you GET to start over… because either way, guess what…. it’s happening. Life is happening and you can stop and be sad for a minute and catch back up, but the longer you stay stuck, the more the world moves ahead of you.
• love is not obsession. it does not feel all consuming or chaotic. it apologizes and tells you how they feel to fix the issue, not to harm you with it. they show up for you, even if they’re mad. love is not a panic attack before you go inside and it is NOT something anyone has to earn. conditional love is not love, it’s convenience.
• people teach you how honest you can be with them with how they respond to hearing something they don’t like.
• you don’t have to be yelled at or talked down to. it’s not normal, not everybody fights like that.
• a creative block is real. i still can’t paint or finish my room- but i can do this. at least i have this.
• you’ll regret the trips you don’t take over the ones you did. you come back with part of the place you traveled, a lot of times replacing a hurt part of you.
• “I’m sorry but” is not an apology.
• nobody has to be an exception to your boundaries. ESPECIALLY the people that encouraged you to make them.
• the person you love the most is not always going to be the person you dated the longest. sometimes, it’s the shortest.
• there will be days you tell yourself “i can’t do this, i won’t make it” and then 2 years later, you’ll be sitting on that same hill you chose to sit on 2 years ago, at the same festival and somehow watching the same EDM group that changed everything…sent you on the spiral soul-searching shit show, death by a thousand cuts- and you’ll be sitting there with one of your best friends in the world, and you realize that you would do it all over again to end up there and being the person that you turned into. Your best friend and roommate picking you up and dropping you off and going home to your nice house that you got without anyone else’s help and driving a car that is not attached to anything and you get to look back at the videos of you crying that you took and you realize how far you’ve come, then you realize that was the reason you took the videos in the first place. (also humbles you to see how long it went on)
• you’ll look around and see completely new friends- but you appreciate them more because each friendship was made so uniquely…
• you haven’t lived “rave/festival” life as a female unless you have successfully maneuvered going to the bathroom in a dark porta potty while holding your backpack, phone, vape, and pashmina at a level that does not touch anything AS YOU HOVER TO PEE, then wipe, then pull up underwear, fishnets, and shorts ONE HANDED IN THE FUCKING DARK- coming out of that portable box of hell looking better than you did before you went in.. nobody knowing that you had the thought of “i’m going to die in here of heat exhaustion” and “i wonder if anyone has noticed how long I’ve been in here… wait, how long HAS it been?” about 10000 times, giving me more anxiety and motivation to get the fuck out of there… reminding myself to get GA+ at LEAST next time…
• one day, you’ll be the one that’s there for someone going through what you went through, and how you execute that situation will tell you a lot about your self growth. Can you show up without jealousy?
• sitting outside on a sunny day is way too under-rated.
• save your wristbands- one day you’ll look at it and remember all the shit you went through with each one.
• act on principle. it’s okay if you switch basketball teams because of HOW DIRTY THE TRADE WAS AS THEY WATCHED HIM BUY A 15 MILLION DOLLAR HOUSE OMG I CANT..
• there really are people in the world built different. if you meet someone that’s had a lot of trauma and they are kind to you and expect nothing from you other than being a decent person- protect them.
• sometimes, there is one person you look at the hidden photos of and wish so hard that things were not the way they are… and sometimes that will be the ONLY person in your past you can look at because it’s the only one you want back in your life.
• when you travel, give yourself extra time if you do not know the airport.
• when you’re sad, take a drive with the windows down and the music REALLY loud and be shocked at how much better you feel.
• you WILL laugh again.
• at concerts, wear ear protection!!! hearing loss is a real thing.
• Portland/Oregon/Washington – SO pretty, just do not say maam or sir…
• California is fucking cold I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS! WE ARE NOT USED TO THAT WIND, OK!?
• anxiety was the devils handiwork. worst. feeling. ever.
• some people will remember you forever for something you did that was kind and that took 2 seconds for you to do and did not drain your energy at all. be kind to people because you never know what kind of day they’re having.
• pretty privilege is unfortunately, a thing.
• take the cheaper flight the day early to see some place new.
• words hit like bullet wounds and you can never un-say them.
• if you’re mad at the situation, it’s still not okay to act mad at the person trying to help fix it.
• if you treat someone shitty, they have every right to ignore you the next time you reach out.
• BLOCK MEANS BLOCK. NOT PAUSE, NOT SILENCED ALERTS…FUCKING BLOCKKKKKED. GRAVEYARD. Literally. Their name gets 3 gravestones and then I don’t know who is who.
• the trick really does work if you turn off your imessage to message someone that blocked you. (i didn’t say i wasn’t perfect, sometimes i’m petty)
• if kendrick can call drake a pedophile on live TV and during the superbowl, you can stick up for yourself.
• it’s okay to celebrate the win when one year your #1 song was anti-hero and the next year it was i can do it with a broken heart. hahaha so much growth.
• your life does not end because a really cute boy that beat you down to beg for love tells you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, breaking up with you 2 days later. in fact, that was the moment you finally started living your life and you found out who you were.

with love,

t.