tarynitup

I’ve always thought there were different loves we have in our life. The first, the worst, the one you thought was true, your true love… Now, I know the true love isn’t a single love you have. You have your first love, which is true because you don’t know any better. The worst is true, because it hurt you enough to be true and still the worst. The one you thought was true-was… in the way it was meant to be.

What I didn’t know is there was a higher tier love. One you couldn’t justify leaving before you tried every single last thing you could to save it.

There are loves never meant to last.. but with every thing that is meant to end- there are things meant to be. Those things, unfortunately, are ALWAYS the hardest to work for. the most pain, happiness, confusion, joy, empty cup/full cup. The things you work on because you love them enough to see them differently than the other kind of loves, the things you go through, the way you grow when you go through those things… that’s what shapes a forever love.

Everyone is scared of a storm in their house they built themselves. Can it withhold a storm? Probably never the first one. Is it worth fixing everything but the foundation? That’s what love is. The foundation of a home. The foundation of a bond, friendship, partnership.

It’s never fair. The ones we hurt the most hurt from our trauma. Our choices devastate us both. it’s easier to run away, pretend it didn’t happen. Person doesn’t exist, pain doesn’t exist.

But when you love someone to your core, and you hurt them, your pain becomes 7th on the list of things to fix. When you learn why you’ve been the way you’ve been for so long, and you know it will only benefit the future… that’s where you pray that any “I love you” stuck, or any nose scrunch melted the heart enough to say “I didn’t know her flaws, I do now. She knows them. She’s worth the attempt to redeem herself.”

The hardest thing in love is hurting the person you want to protect the most. All you can do is pray that they give you the chance to show them you’d protect them more than ever, because you’re also protecting your heart from life without them. Life that doesn’t make sense, where it feels like the world is spinning around you and you’re standing still. Love has to only be enough to get you on your feet from the hole you’re trying to get out of.

– t.