tarynitup

A blog about my real ass life and all of the adventures in it.

  • Let down

    We decided to keep trying. I’m done acting like we didn’t. I always hoped they’d be here when my life went back to normal. Good things are happening because I worked hard on myself and I genuinely changed and I tried with everything I had. You can’t do life alone. I tried to get them… Continue reading

  • I don’t want it to be what it is

    We were supposed to love each other. We could have healed together instead of ripping each other apart. We both fucked it up and made the mess. In my mind, it was always them. We talked about me going to their house on my lunch breaks. I feel so used. They would sit there and… Continue reading

  • Just let it be enough

    I’m so tired of the anger that will never be resolved. I’m so tired of feeling like I imagined it all. Camping was the final blow. My launch into infinite confusion. I’m not an angry person. It’s not my nature. Everyone in my family is and I hated it. I became what I hated. No… Continue reading

  • Ease up buttercup

    I never knew there were so many levels of pain. the initial shock pain, that one sucks. the anger pain, that one sucks. the pain where your soul aches and no matter big of a smile you put on, you feel like half of you is missing- The one where you know you’re not your… Continue reading

  • manipulator

    I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know how to be one. I’ve been manipulated my entire life by my immediate family members and as I was older, relationships I chose because they felt like home. I’ve watched it work for people, I’ve watched people suffer from it. It’s a skill I will never… Continue reading